Day 13: It’s My Christmas and I’ll Cry if I Want To….

My beloved Grandmother would have been 96 today.  She, however, is no longer concerned with earthly birthdays, because she is in the presence of her Savior and King.  She was a remarkable woman: tiny in stature, but huge in spirit and love for Jesus.  When I think of my greatest treasures and blessings, Grace Marshall, is at the top of the list.

This Christmas I have found myself reflecting on the blessings of people God has placed in my life:

  My Granddaddy, who I used to describe as a combination of Superman, McGyver, and Santa Claus;

  My Grandmother, who would pay attention to your favorite food and then make sure she had that for you when you came to   visit, and who also prayed for every single member of her family every night;

  My neighbor who I called “Grandma”Ruth, who was the most gentle and giving soul;

  My other Grandma who had a special way of taking care of you when you were sick that involved coffee ice cream in a plastic   green cup that somehow always worked!,

  My Uncle Edd, who could tell a story in his beautiful Cayman accent that made you feel like you were there.

These precious family members are no longer with me on this earth, but I carry them in my heart.  As my Granddaddy once told me, “my family along with the Lord make up my roots, and I should never forget my roots.”  I praise God that He provided such strong “roots” for me.

This time of year I find myself reflecting on those roots and my heart feels both heavy and joyful.  Christmas seems to be a time of year when tears of joy and sadness fall simultaneously.  I joke with my husband that at some point every year, I will have a Christmas catharsis.  I cry because my children will never really know the amazing people that God used to shape my life. I cry because I miss Christmas Eve at Grandmother and Granddaddy’s house, where the entire family was gathered together. I cry because I am so grateful that God allowed me to love and be loved by such wonderful people.

I try to hold the tears in, because it sometimes feels like if I left myself start, I will never stop. But today, on my Grandmother’s birthday, I am going to let myself have a few moments to remember, reflect and rejoice in her life and the lives of all of those who I have had to say “goodbye for now” to.  Crying will last for a few moments, but the legacy these remarkable people left, will live on in the lives of all of those they touched.

Do you find yourself with an aching heart this Christmas? I pray that the God of all comfort will pour His peace over you today, and fill your heart with His presence.

I long for the day when I will be reunited with my loved ones, and I thank God for sending Jesus to provide the way for us to have eternal life with Him.

Merry Christmas to my “Amazing Grace” and all my other “roots”. I love you!

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About My Work

This blog serves as an online journal of sorts. It is where I go to process my thoughts and feelings. It is where I write about what it means to shine the light of Jesus in an ever darkening world. And it is where I record the beautiful glimpses of God’s extraordinary grace in the midst of my very ordinary life.

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