When You Realize You Don’t Know What You’re Doing….and it’s ok!

She Speaks Conference
She Speaks Conference

Have you ever gone into something thinking that you knew exactly what you wanted and needed only to discover you have no idea what you are really doing?

That was me this weekend. I attended my first writer’s conference and it was truly amazing! (If you ever get the chance to attend a She Speaks conference – GO! You will not be disappointed.) I went thinking I was going to pitch my book idea and learn more about the wonderful world of writing. I left realizing that the book is just a small part of a bigger ministry.

Ministry? Me? What? Those were the questions I began asking God as I felt my soul being stirred. The unmistakable flutters of the Holy Spirit’s gentle nudging began to transform my plans into His plans this weekend.

I have always thought of a ministry as something pastors do, or missionaries, or Ann Graham Lotz, or Lysa Terkeurst or just other people. But me? Um…nope. No ministry here – just a girl with a book about a horse.

But then the quiet voice whispered:

Encouraging and comforting others is a ministry (2 Corinthians 1:4)

Sharing the truth of Jesus is a ministry (Matthew 28:19-20)

Shining the light of Jesus in this dark world, you got it – ministry!  (Matthew 5:16)

Is it possible that this conference and even the book are not just about getting something published, but maybe about something bigger God wants to do? Is it possible that an ordinary introverted girl with horrible time management skills and a chronically disorganized home could have a ministry? If so, what does that mean and look like?

I wish I could tell you that I knew the answers to those questions, but I don’t…not yet. But I am praying for God to make His will known, and trusting that He will show me the steps to take. This weekend was all about surrender. Me surrendering my plans to His, my desires for His, my story for His, my purpose for His. I have no idea what the future holds or looks like, but I am trusting the One who does.

What about you? Have you ever thought about the fact that as a child of God you too have a ministry? We can’t all be pastors, famous speakers or missionaries, but we are all called to serve and to share the love of Jesus. To what ministry could God be calling you? What might that look like in your life? Ask Him to stir your heart and reveal His will to you. Let’s walk this path together. With God leading the way it is sure to be an exciting and awesome journey!

ps – For those interested in the publishing appointment….it wasn’t a yes but it wasn’t a no. My book is having a bit of an identity crisis. I am just not sure of the target audience. I initially thought it would be a book for teenagers, but as I wrote, the book began shifting to more of an adult short novel. Once I land on who the target audience is I will submit a proposal. I am learning that the writing of the book was the easy part!!!!!

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