I so wish I could announce the glorious news that my book proposal was picked up by an amazing publishing house after being fought over by numerous agents, and that I was basking in the glow of being a published author. But….that would be a total lie.
The fact is, I have heard nothing, nada, zip, zero back from the one agent who has my proposal. “Tails of Hope” sits in my computer just waiting. I want to get back to it and rework some things, but I haven’t been able to find the time to do so.
I have this dream, and I believe it is a God-inspired dream, to have my book published so that the message of beauty from brokenness and hope in the midst of hurting can be shared with many. I am not giving up on that dream at all, but I am realizing that the pause button has been hit on that dream.
It is frustrating to have your dream paused, but when you have given your dream to God and you trust Him with the results, it is easier to accept the pause. That’s not to say I don’t have my moments. Every time I look at my manuscript sitting on my desk I want to scream, “Lord, why is this not happening?!?!” Every time I am given a new writing assignment I am eager but also frustrated by the fact that it will take more time away from editing “Tails of Hope.”
One thing I have learned during this period of waiting is the importance of staying in the Word. My eyes are too easily drawn away from God’s purpose when I am stuck in a pause. It becomes too easy to resent another’s success, to question my calling, to grow weary in day to day responsibilities, and to begrudge new writing assignments when I am focused only on my desire to accomplish my dream.
By remaining in God’s Word I force my eyes to look to Him. His Word becomes the filter by which I see things and react to them. My spirit stays sensitive to His prompting. Only by holding tightly to His Word can I rejoice in another’s success, feel secure in God’s calling on my life, face everyday responsibilities with joy, and gratefully embrace each new writing opportunity He brings my way.
My dream may be on pause right now, but my life is not. God can (and will) still use us during the pauses in our lives. He calls us to be faithful to Him in the big things and the small. He sends opportunities our way which may not look big or flashy, but are just as (if not more) important to His Kingdom than the bigger flashier assignments we think we want.
Do you feel as if you are on a pause? I would encourage you to cling to God’s Word. Start your day by reading a small portion of the Bible. A great way to begin a day is by reading a Psalm. As you read ask God to reveal a truth to you. Look for a lesson from the verses and then ask yourself how that applies to you right now. Throughout the day meditate on a verse, download a daily devotional like “Jesus Calling” to your phone. Saturate yourself with God’s Word, and I promise that you will begin to see things different. Suddenly your pause will feel more like a time of refreshing for your soul as you sit with your Creator.
Waiting is hard, but waiting while resting in the arms of The Father is a beautiful place to be.
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