I’m a writer. I like to write. I find joy in expressing myself through words typed on a screen or written on paper. I enjoy teaching through curriculum and devotionals. Over the years I’ve even learned to enjoy teaching children—little ones that is. But I am not a speaker. I don’t like standing in front of groups of people and having them all focus on me. It is unpleasant, uncomfortable, and just downright unnatural!
I’ll pray and ask God to use me in whatever way He desires, and yet I think deep down inside what I really mean is “God please use me in my comfort zone—and only in my comfort zone.”
However, I don’t often grow in my comfort zone. Instead, I grow through being stretched, pushed, and often times pulled along. It isn’t pleasant, not at all like the comfort of the familiar, but it usually always results in growth.
When I have to rely on God in new ways, when I have to stand on Him alone or else risk sinking, my faith grows.
When I have to keep my eyes focused on Him instead of any abilities I think I have, my faith grows.
When I have to pray before I can take a step because I am completely terrified, my faith grows.
And honestly, more than I want to be comfortable I want my faith to grow. More than I want to be comfortable, I want to be obedient. More than I want to be comfortable I want to be wowed by God.
So with much trepidation and in complete surrender of all that is comfortable, I will speak when He asks me to. Granted, I will turn various shades of red and purple when I do so. I will lose all saliva from my mouth, and my fingers will tingle. But I will speak because He will give me the ability. He will give me the words. He will give me the strength. And hopefully He will keep people from being too distracted by the whole purple thing 😉
I may be out of my comfort zone, but I will be in the arms of the Comforter.
So tomorrow I will stand up before some amazing women and give verbal testimony to the God I love. (And if you would like to pray that I get through it without turing too purple….that would be really awesome!