When You Feel Like Your Ministry Just Doesn’t Measure Up

I’ve been spending a lot of time recently thinking about my blog’s purpose and goal.

In an online world full of noise, with many different voices speaking out on a variety of topics, I start to wonder if another voice is really needed. Wondering inevitably leads me to compare myself to other far more experienced and successful bloggers. Comparing then leads me to the realization that I am surely lacking in the experienced and successful blogger category.

The door is then wide open for the accuser to begin taunting: Your little blog doesn’t matter. Your words don’t matter. Your voice doesn’t matter. You aren’t bold enough. You aren’t witty enough. You aren’t engaging enough. You aren’t……enough.

Super uplifting right?

I wish I could say this was a one time low-point. A struggle I used to have but have overcome. But I would be lying. This is a constant battle. A weak point the enemy expertly exploits over and over again.

However, something is beginning to change in this battle. Something is different recently. The taunts are still there. The whispers to judge my posts by numbers, likes and shares are still there. But they are losing their power. The noise of the taunts is being diminished by the caress of the Truth.

The Truth that says:
It is not your words that matter, it is My Word that matters.
It is not your voice that matters, it is My Voice that matters.
You are not enough, but I AM enough and I AM in you.

I truly believe that God has called me to write. And I truly believe that He has called me to write about the many ways He reveals Himself to me—how He shows His extraordinary in the midst of my ordinary. And so numbers, stats, and other earthly measurements should not matter.

Walking in obedience to the Lord means not measuring ourselves against others—only by His calling. 

Doing what God calls us to do.
Serving Him with a willing and eager heart.
Focusing on Him.
A
llowing Him to use us however He sees fit.

Being obedient to God’s calling means surrendering earthly measures of success to Him.

Yesterday I took my kids to a special Billy Graham exhibit at the NC Museum of History. It was moving and powerful. And somewhat intimidating as we stood in front of a wall that was illuminated with pinpoint lights.

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Each light represented 2,000 decisions made for Christ as a result of one of Billy’s crusades. All together the lights represented more than 3 million decisions!

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As I took in the breath and depth of his ministry I started to feel so small—so unimportant. (Isn’t it interesting how the accuser can accuse even in the middle of a deeply spiritual moment!)

My heart whispered, “God, I’ll never have this kind of impact. I’ll never be able to do anything like this for You.” My shoulders slumped. “Does my teeny tiny little ministry even matter?”

Yet, before the accuser could get another word in, the voice of Truth called out, “Look up.”

My head raised on its accord. And what I saw brought tears to my eyes.

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My two babies were standing in front of the wall of lights. Two souls standing in the Light. Two lives changed by the light of the Gospel. Two souls entrusted into mine and my husband’s care. Two children given to us to instruct in the way of God’s Word. Two little ones we had the joy and privilege to escort to the foot of the cross where they surrendered their lives to Him. Two souls who will live eternally with Jesus.

It was then God allowed me to SEE a very important truth:

Every single soul matters. Every. Single. One. Whether 3 million or just 1 person. Every heart won. Every soul saved. Every life changed by the blood of Jesus matters.

No ministry is too small for Him to use. No act of obedience is too mundane if done by a willing eager heart.

The breath and scope of my ministry is not my concern because

  1. it is not my ministry
  2. it is not my blood that saves anyone
  3. it is not my glory that I’m seeking

How freeing is that?!?!

I do not have to worry or fret over numbers or stats because none of that really matters. I just have to walk in obedience, remain in His Word, bask in His Truth and then speak and write what He tells me to speak and write so that I can shine His light into this dark world.

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Easy to write, but often hard to do!

But I’m up for the challenge because “He who is in me is greater than he who is in the world.” (1 John 4:4)

I pray that today we might all find freedom from measuring ourselves by earthly standards and with earthly measures by instead looking to the One who loves us and has called us to simply serve Him. The results are not our concern.

Results, like glory and honor, all belong to God.

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Quote by Billy Graham when he was knighted in 2001

Much love,
Jen

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