Your dream has come true. That thing that you have wished for, prayed for, planned for and dreamed of is now within reach. You have imagined the moment many times. It has kept you going when you were ready to throw in the towel.
You look around halfway expecting the world to somehow look differently now that your dream has been achieved.
But it doesn’t.
A heartbeat later you realize that you don’t even feel that different. You’re happy yes. You’re overwhelmed with gratitude, yes. But it isn’t quite like you imagined it would be.
Is something wrong with you? Was this not really what you wanted?
As you begin to process these tangled up feelings you become aware of another feeling. A stronger feeling. A taunting feeling.
Fear whispers, “Now what are you going to do? Now people will see that you aren’t really good enough, talented enough, unique enough. You can’t possibly succeed at this. You were crazy to think you could.”
Fear wraps itself around your dream and begins to choke it. You feel the grip around your heart.
Fear claws at your joy, your confidence, your hope.
Fear speaks more loudly and begins to drown out the whispers of peace.
You find yourself too distracted to pray. Avoiding God’s Word. Retreating inward.
What should have been a joyous time has turned into a dry parched season.
You’re spiritual throat burns, longing to be quenched by the Living Water of peace, but you hesitate. Unsure and timid.
Will He accept me still? Will He understand? Where do I even start with Him?
Fear squeezes tighter attempting to choke you. “You blew it. Give it up. He doesn’t want you like this.”
In desperation you look up. You can only mouth the word, “LORD.”
Fear lessens its grip ever so slightly.
“I AM here.” The words pour over your heart like a tidal wave. Fear’s grip is forced to relinquish its hold.
“Lord, I don’t even know what to say.” You feel uncomfortable and awkward talking to the One who knows you most and loves you best – the One to whom you used to talk to all the time.
“Just sit with me. Let me fill you with my Love.”
“But I don’t deserve You. I’ve failed you.”
“No my child, you have not. You took your eyes off of me for a moment, yes. But you are here. Fear’s grip was strong, but mine is stronger. Let me hold you.”
With a voice of awe and wonder you say, “Lord, You gave me my dream.”
“Yes, my love I did.”
“Why didn’t it satisfy me like I thought it would?”
“Because my precious one, I AM the only One who can truly satisfy your soul. I gave you a gift, but the gift cannot replace the Giver. Find your joy in Me. Find your dream fulfilled in Me. And only Me. Only then can you be truly satisfied.”
Tears fall with abandon. “Yes, Lord. Yes. You are right. It is only You. Always You. Forever You.”
Your heart expands, free from the chains of fear.
“Lord, will You help me? To fight fear? To complete this dream?”
“You only have to ask my child. Remember these are not your battles. They are mine to fight through you and for you. Hold My hand and walk with Me. I will show You the way.”
“Lord, I don’t deserve You. I could never deserve You. But thank You.”
“You are most welcome. Now come, let’s us begin this good work.”
Are you in a dry season? Do you feel a distance from God? Do you find it hard to pray or read His Word?
From one who has recently been there, don’t wait until you feel spiritual. Don’t wait until you feel worthy or whole. Just open your mouth and talk to Him. Even if you just say His Name, talk to Him. Talk to God like as if you were a child. Read His Word. Pick a familiar passage, one that has brought you comfort before.
Do not delay in turning to Jesus. Do not give fear or pride one more second to grip your heart. Call out to the Giver of good gifts. Ask Him to pour His Living Water over your dry and parched soul. Then sit with Him and watch what He will do.
Your dry season will soon be saturated with His life-giving Love.