When the Feels are too Big

When my daughter was much younger she used the word feels instead of feelings:

“My feels are sad.”
“My feels are mad.”
“Him hurt my feels.”

One day, when she was about five and her brother had pushed her little buttons one too many times, I separated both to their respective rooms to have a talk with each one. After piecing through the events that led to her meltdown, I asked her if she was ready to leave her room and go play. She answered,

“My feels are still too big mama, I better stay in my room.” 

Great advice for us all, right?

Sometimes when your feels are too big,  you might need to stay put and reflect. 

My “feels” this Christmas season have been too big to put into words. And honestly, there are so many feelings that I still feel the need to hold closely to my heart and continue to reflect upon.

2016 was a year of dichotomies for our family (as well as so many others). We had high highs and low lows. It was a year of emotional whip-lash, so much so that I find myself apprehensive about the new year.

And yet, as I sat around my kitchen table this Christmas and looked at the faces of the family and friends (and new puppy!) gathered there, it occurred to me that I do not need to fear the new year because the same God who saw me through the last one will see me through this one and every one to come.

God tells us to “Fear not, for I AM with you” (Isaiah 41:10).

He doesn’t say, “Fear not for I will make everything ok,” or “Fear not for I will only give you happy things.”

No, He tells us that we need not fear the future because the Great I AM is with us. The One who formed us, who loves us, and is over all is within us.

So whatever this new year brings: deadlines, stretching, joys, sorrows, excitement, and heart break – God will be with me. He will be with us. He will hold our hands. He will lead and guide us. He will comfort and equip. He will dwell with His people and show us the way to go.

So I am determining this year, instead of fear I will:

I will hold fast to the hand of the One who saw me through my dad’s open heart surgery. 


Every moment with this man feels like a gift from God. So thankful that those bypasses are doing their job!

I will rest in the embrace of the One who walked with our family through the loss of our precious golden retriever, Bailey. And who provided a precious new blessing through our new little Christmas puppy, Gracie Jade. 


This precious little bundle of furry cuteness joined our family just before Christmas.

And I will place my trust in the One who has called me to write the story of hope He brought to me, and I will continue to thank Him for those who offer their support and encouragement in such sweet and practical ways!


So grateful for these people!


And for the constant laughter they bring!


And for the godly examples they provide


And for the constant reminders of God’s extraordinary grace!

Much love in the New Year!

Remember: God’s got this!!!



About My Work

This blog serves as an online journal of sorts. It is where I go to process my thoughts and feelings. It is where I write about what it means to shine the light of Jesus in an ever darkening world. And it is where I record the beautiful glimpses of God’s extraordinary grace in the midst of my very ordinary life.

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