I thought it would be a piece of cake. I honestly expected waters to miraculously part, doors to spontaneously open, and words to effortlessly flow. In fact, I not only expected it, but assumed it was part of the package deal. You know, the “God calls you and He’ll do it” special.
And truth be told, I even thought that if things became difficult then maybe that meant I shouldn’t be doing this.
I truly believed that my heavenly calling would exempt me from the hard work of doing.
(Apparently, I figured that all those stories in the Bible of people striving, working, waiting, failing and even suffering in their calling-aka Abraham, Moses, David, Jeremiah, Peter, Paul- didn’t apply to my calling. Um, hello…pride!)
The embarrassing truth is, I thought that because God had called me to do something (in my case write a book) everything would be easy.
Boy. Was. I. Wrong.
While there have been certain aspects which have come easily, others have been very difficult. I often feel out of my league. Overwhelmed. Afraid. Tired. Distracted. Frustrated.
At times those waters, which I assumed would miraculously part before me, have left me tossed and turned with their churning. The doors I assumed would be thrown open have felt nailed shut. And the words I believed would be poured out of me dripped out in a painfully slow trickle.
Yet, with each difficulty, with each labored step forward, God has shown me a clearer glimpse of His faithfulness.
A faithfulness which is not dependent on my performance.
A faithfulness which is not hindered by my lack.
A faithfulness which is not lessened by my fear.
And a faithfulness which is not diminished by my frustrated confusion.
The truth is, the more difficult the journey, the greater the opportunity to see God’s might and faithfulness.
And the rougher the road, the more painful the falls, and rugged the terrain, the more opportunities to find ourselves surrounded and upheld by the arms of Love.
Sure, some callings lead to easy roads where the way is laid wide open before you.
But, other callings lead to winding roads, steep roads, uncharted roads full of unknown dangers and difficulties.
Yet, our God never changes. And He who calls us is faithful.
He may not pave the road, but He promises to hold our hands as we traverse the way.
We have an enemy who loves nothing more than getting us off course, taunting us with the difficulties we face. Whispering lies that difficulties mean God is not with us.
Yet, testimonies drift from heavenly voices –
“God is with us while lion’s crouch before us.”
“God is with us when the fire rages around us.”
“God is with us, even in a jail cell.”
“God is with us when all others have turned away.”
God is faithful, no matter our circumstances or feelings. And if He has called us to do something, then He will accomplish it. Even if the way He does so, looks nothing like we thought it would.
I type. I edit. I rewrite.
I cry. I pray. I eat chocolate.
And….I trust. In a God who has proven over and over again that He is, and always will be,