When my daughter was much younger she used the word feels instead of feelings:
“My feels are sad.”
“My feels are mad.”
“Him hurt my feels.”
One day, when she was about five and her brother had pushed her little buttons one too many times, I separated both to their respective rooms to have a talk with each one. After piecing through the events that led to her meltdown, I asked her if she was ready to leave her room and go play. She answered,
“My feels are still too big mama, I better stay in my room.”
Great advice for us all, right?
Sometimes when your feels are too big, you might need to stay put and reflect.
My “feels” this Christmas season have been too big to put into words. And honestly, there are so many feelings that I still feel the need to hold closely to my heart and continue to reflect upon.
2016 was a year of dichotomies for our family (as well as so many others). We had high highs and low lows. It was a year of emotional whip-lash, so much so that I find myself apprehensive about the new year.
And yet, as I sat around my kitchen table this Christmas and looked at the faces of the family and friends (and new puppy!) gathered there, it occurred to me that I do not need to fear the new year because the same God who saw me through the last one will see me through this one and every one to come.
God tells us to “Fear not, for I AM with you” (Isaiah 41:10).
He doesn’t say, “Fear not for I will make everything ok,” or “Fear not for I will only give you happy things.”
No, He tells us that we need not fear the future because the Great I AM is with us. The One who formed us, who loves us, and is over all is within us.
So whatever this new year brings: deadlines, stretching, joys, sorrows, excitement, and heart break – God will be with me. He will be with us. He will hold our hands. He will lead and guide us. He will comfort and equip. He will dwell with His people and show us the way to go.
So I am determining this year, instead of fear I will:
I will hold fast to the hand of the One who saw me through my dad’s open heart surgery.
I will rest in the embrace of the One who walked with our family through the loss of our precious golden retriever, Bailey. And who provided a precious new blessing through our new little Christmas puppy, Gracie Jade.
And I will place my trust in the One who has called me to write the story of hope He brought to me, and I will continue to thank Him for those who offer their support and encouragement in such sweet and practical ways!
Much love in the New Year!
Remember: God’s got this!!!
Love,
Jen
Jennifer Bleakley
Animals are my love language. Sharing stories of hope is my passion.
Sometimes it feels strange to read your posts for free. Your consultant fee as a grief counselor must have been a little greater than “Complimentary with the occasional request for feedback”. Would like to offer some kind of payment…not too adept at baking, so can’t really send cookies. Pretty good at mayhem, however, and can offer some pointers for your plant-killing hobby:)
On a serious note, this year is going to be extremely challenging (and that is just from the known things). Reading your stories and catching a glimpse of your world carried a lot of weight through 2016. It will be required to power through this new year as well, no doubt. Thank you for taking the time to share with all of us out here on the other side of your laptop.
I am honored by your words. It’s always a little strange to me to find that people actually read my ramblings 😉 I am touched that you would take time to reach out to me. Thank you so much for your encouragement. It means a great deal!
Ramblings she says…authors! LOL. Your blog is like a really good Kirk Cameron movie, without Kirk Cameron (apologies if you are a huge fan). In the past couple of years, I’ve laughed, cried, and agreed in prayer with your “ramblings”. Thank you for taking the time to share them.